Take a look at the fullsize Chevy that adorns this month's cover, or for that matter, any of the feature trucks in this issue. We have a certain criteria for our feature trucks at Truckin', namely trucks that are stylish, innovative, super-clean, and professionally executed. Since we are the World's Leading Truck Publication, Truckin' strives to be on the cutting edge of truck aftermarket design, and we try to publish those trucks we feel definitely make the grade.
With this in mind, we receive dozens of calls from loyal readers (bless their hearts), with conversations that go something like this: "You've got to feature my truck. It's the most radical vehicle you've seen to date. It will blow all your other cover trucks out of the water, so it has to go on your next cover." Of course, we have to see this fantastic vehicle, and we invariably ask the reader to send along a couple of photos of his pride and joy. Very often, it's a super-nice truck that may or may not qualify for a feature, or in a few select cases, as a cover. However, all too often, the truck in question has a face (exterior styling) that only a mother (truck owner) could love. Very often we see these trucks and ask ourselves, "What was he thinking!?" Our Readers' Rides section is a good example. The dozens of rides we publish from loyal readers are clean, stylish, and certainly show a devotion to the aftermarket truck experience. But there are the others - the trucks that really make us sit up and take notice, but the wrong kind of notice. For every cover truck out there, there are just as many trucks that have gone bad somewhere in the customization process. And the sad aspect of these trucks is that every one of their owners think they have an award-winning cover truck on their hands.
So, with a twist on Jeff Foxworthy's comedy routine "You might be a redneck," we present this list of truck no-nos, entitled "You might think you have a rad truck..."
If you have more than 10 driving lights or more than two antennas, you might think you have a rad truck...
If you have Yosemite Sam or chrome nude silhouette mudflaps, you might think ou have a rad truck...
If you have embroidered custom dash covers with your name and your ex's name, you might think you have a rad truck...
If your truck has either curb feelers or neon windshield wipers, you might think you have a rad truck...
If your truck sports moon visors or huge window visors, you might think you have a rad truck...
If the sparkles in your metalflake paint are more than a 1/4-inch wide, you might think you have a rad truck...
If you have enough stuffed animals on your dash to obscure your vision, you might think you have a rad truck...
If you have a chain steering wheel, you might think you have a rad truck...
If you have anything organic growing on the exterior of your vehicle, you might think you have a rad truck...
If you have 13x13-inch tires that stick more than 6 inches outside of the wheelwell and are wrapped around gold wire rims, you might think you have a rad truck...
If you have a body kit that looks like it belongs on a Ferrari Testarossa, you might think you have a rad truck...
If you have stick-on chrome rocker cover panels on your truck, you might think you have a rad truck...
If you have more than three empty beer cans rattling around in your bed, you might think you have a rad truck...
We could probably think of a lot more, but we do not want to give certain readers any new ideas. And remember, for those of you with trucks that fit any of the above categories, we're not laughing at you, but with you.